Mother Nature, lameness, and brownies

How is that for a mixed up mess of a title?

Mother Nature needs an assistant. She either needs an assistant or she is getting senile or is on drugs. She seems overwhelmed and can't get back on track with the normal seasons. It is the middle of March and it was 42 degrees on my way to work. I live in California for goodness sakes, what IS she thinking? Not only it is cold, it is raining and everything is a muddy mess. I hate mud. I know I have bored you before with my mud loathing but really... the stuff is just gross.

I haven't gotten to ride much the last couple of weeks. Partly because of the weather and partly because I have been hit with a couple of lameness issues. First Lily has some swelling in her front legs. I had the vet look at her and she thinks that it may be stress related and some time off should do the trick. So she is off and at rest for at least 30 days. She was never lame or off or even acted like it bothered her. The swelling is going down and she is feeling pretty feisty. Wonderful.

Saturday the weather was the best that it had been all week, the sun was coming out intermittently so I decided to give Mr. Semper some time outside. Huge mistake. He went out and then really got his groove on. Bucked and ran around like a fool. I put him up and lo and behold, Sunday morning his right hind fetlock joint is swollen and hot. Not a mark, scrap or scratch anywhere. Just swollen. He was putting weight on it and moving fine so I am thinking that he just stressed it. I am going to give it a few days and see if it doesn't resolve itself. All this just before I have a cow horse clinic to go to. Great. Just fricking great.

Wow... I sound like Negative Nancy. Or Polly Pissy Pants. Or Debbie Downer.

I have been on a brownie baking jag lately. Last week I made "Slutty Brownies". For me...they are a waste of a perfectly good Oreo, but Mr. Wonderful and the boys at work thought they were the best brownie they had ever eaten. On Friday, I got the new Pioneer Woman's cookbook. I made the "Knock You Naked Brownies". They didn't knock any ones clothes off.. thank goodness... but they were sweet and chocolaty. I then made my favorite brownies because I needed to compare them. Had to. My favorites are still "Salted Carmel Brownies". The KYN's didn't hold a candle to them. Mr. Wonderful liked the KYN best. So I brought the KYN brownies and my favs to work for the boys to try. Of course they like the KYN's. Do men have taste buds or is it all about perception. If I had called my favs something equally as ridiculous as slutty or naked - would it have changed the outcome?

I guess I should add a disclaimer here....if you have read my blog for any length of time you know I am a weight loss surgery patient and posting recipes about brownies and eating is probably not proper etiquette. I want to clarify a few things...I do eat sweets once in a while. I don't eat candy ever. I don't drink soda pop (diet or regular). When I bake, I do taste what I bake. I don't eat the entire pan. I leave that to Mr. Wonderful, my kids and the boys at work. I had surgery almost 3 years ago and I have maintained my goal weight for the last two years. It is always on my mind. Food is always going to be a struggle for me. I am learning how to eat all things in moderation. It is a process. Making good food choices and trying to find a balance is what I work on daily.

Thinking to much, again.

I have been thinking about the first show a lot. On Saturday during a lesson I said to TL that Semper had done well even without been ridden the week before, without a proper warm up, etc. She responded "yeah, they do get to that point". I hadn't ever really thought about that. That he would get to the point where he didn't need to be schooled or trained on a lot. That he would get to the point he just knew what I wanted and did it. I mean, I know he knows his job and he wants to please me so why didn't I think we would get to the point where we could just get it done without all the schooling and ass kicking? Later that day I heard her say to another rider... "raise you expectations". Well there you go.

As someone that is not a trainer it is hard to know when to raise your expectations. How do I know when it is time to make those changes? I think, I think to much. my head is going to explode. I should ride more and think less. Definitely. Da,da,da definitely.

You know... I am pretty sure that I was supposed to be born independently wealthy. How can you be born with the HORSE GENE and be born poor. Is that someones idea of a really cruel joke? Am I being punked? This has been going on for far to long for it do be a reality show. Although, it might make for a very entertaining reality show. "Horsaii Women" It would be like Saddle Club on steriods.

First Horse Show of the Season

Saturday was my first horse show of the season.

Here are the facts:
I didn't ride all week. Mr. Semper was off for 6 days pulled out of the pasture, bathed and expected to go to work.

He hadn't been stopped hard or done any serious turnarounds since Oct. Yes-October.

The warm up arena was a sloppy mess and not usable.

We got about 7 - 10 minutes in the indoor to warm up before we had to go show. No time or space to stop. Got in a few turnarounds.

Had to run two different patterns. 6 and 8. They are very similar. And that can be deadly for a pattern challenged rider (like me).

We got through both - the non pro class with a 68 and the rookie class with a 69.

Not to bad for the odds.

I was truly elated that we just got through them both without schooling. Mr. Semper listened and was relaxed. His stops were better than they had been all last show season. Maybe the time off was just what he needed.

Buckaroo Girl

You all gotta check this out...

Buckaroo Girl has her third CD available. It is absolutely, completely, utterly and beyond many more adjectives that I can't think of right now - amazing.

You can get it at CDbaby

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/adrian22


There isn't one song that I don't like. Right now my favorite is "Hands". I know that all you horsey ladies out there will identify with this song. "My hands might not be your kind of beautiful." Kind of says it all, doesn't it?

I am sure that as I listen to the CD a zillion times over.. each one will be my favorite at some point.

Here are some links to her...

http://buckaroogirl.com/Home.html

http://buckaroogirl.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Adrian-Buckaroogirl/280524162956


Promise me that you will give it a try. Promise?

Have you ever seen a horse melt?

Have you ever seen a horse melt? No really.... just melt, you know, like the way you do when you climb into that big old bubble bath after a day when it has been colder than a well diggers behind and the horses have been humped up like show dogs. I crack myself up.

Melting horses... This is a good thing. It isn't like they get all sticky and gooey like the Hershey bar you left on the dash of your pick-up while the defroster was running 110 miles an hour. Thank goodness THAT didn't happen to me. My little friend Kate had a Hershey bar on Saturday. Her dad decided that she didn't need a candy bar at 8am and so he took HER candy bar and put it on the dash board. Let me tell you - if that puppy had been open, I shudder to think what her daddy would have said about all that chocolate down in the vents of his pickup. It would have served him right for taking her candy bar in the first place. I can say that because she isn't my child. Insert evil grin here. Back to horse melting...the hot water heater was a HUGE hit with the horses. I gave them a bath and I swear. to. goodness. they melted. Never moved a foot. Just stood there and said..wash me, wash me, wash my face.. well not really on the last one, but they did really like it. And they didn't protest to much when I really did wash their faces.

So in case you are interested in building your own little magic horse melter...

I purchased a instant hot water heater off EBay from Baytreelane http://stores.ebay.com/baytreelane
Great ebay seller for sure. Super helpful.

It was $296.99 for a propane unit that pushed 4.6 gallons per minute

Then I bought a hand truck, some chain, pipe and hose fittings, a 50 ft. garden hose and a propane regulator and hose at Home Depot. All together about $125.00 worth of merchandise.

At this point Mr. Wonderful was starting to question how much money I was willing to spend to give my horses a hot bath. So I pilfered the propane tank from the BBQ. Hey... I am thrifty. kind of. o.k. not at all. The best part is that when my neighbor saw that I was pilfering the tank from the BBQ - He realize that he had an extra tank that he liberated from his employer that we could put on the BBQ. Now, not only am I not thrifty, I have accepted stolen property. Well Mr. Wonderful accepted the stolen property. I will visit him in jail. I promise. Right after I give my horses a hot bath.

Here she is...


First things first.... I was so dang proud of myself that I put this puppy in the back of the pickup and toted around to show it off. Hence the scratches and the little small dents. Rut-ruh. It was pristine when I took it out of the box but I managed to put my mark on it pretty handily. What isn't in the picture is the two garden hoses that you need.

It is portable, it will give you hot water till the cows come home. It is awesome and I am thinking of all kinds of new uses for it. Like camping...with the simple purchase of a little 12 volt pump you could have hot water straight out of any creek or river or lake. What a concept. I might even go camping if I could have hot water on demand. Of course then I would want to have one of those old claw foot bath tubs out in the meadow and some bubble bath - you know like in the commercial for man drugs. Wait... maybe not.

Little sayings...

I don't know if you all know this but I got along with men much better than I get along with women. I get along with males of any species better than I get along with females. One of the reasons that I like men is they way they talk. Real men anyway. You know the ones... they talk about hunting and fishing constantly. They drive dirty trucks and open the door for you. Wipe the muck off the seats too. One thing that always cracks me up is the little sayings they have. I am always repeating the things they say and usually get a raised eyebrow or two. But what the heck - you only go around once, right?

One of my favorites...(are you ready?)
"Well that went over like a turd in a punchbowl."

Every morning Jack comes by my office and says good morning. I say "how are ya Jack" and he says "finer than frogs hair". Love it.

The guys in the shop will describe how cold the shop is one of two ways... "colder than a witches tit" or "colder than a well diggers ass". If it is really hot it is "hotter than a popcorn fart". Who dreams up this stuff?

I went to see my old trainer friend the other day. I call him my boyfriend. He isn't really my boyfriend, he is old, married, chain smokes, and is a completely harmless flirt. He was telling me about how high the price of cattle was. He says "can I tell what my friend told me?". I know it is going to be a dirty little saying when he askes if he can tell me. Of course I have to know. "The price of cattle was higher than a pussy on a Ferris wheel". Well all righty then. It made me chuckle.

We used to have a draftsman here that would constantly repeat lines from movies. He was a hoot. His favorite little sayings were "humped up like a show dog" or "humped up like a rat on Decon".

My mom used to say "by the skin on my teeth" when she barely got something done.

Another one Mr. Wonderful uses a lot lately is... Let me set up this scenario for you... Have you noticed how many young girls and even some older women are wearing low rise pants and they have a lot of extra skin and fluff pouring over the top. He says it looks like "10 lbs of sh*t in a 5 lb bag". I explained that it is called muffin top and he said it was more like the whole darn cake. Got to love real men.

I'll keep adding them as I remember them.

How about you guys... got any good sayings?

Idle hands and the devil made me do it

I think we have beat up the lightness issue like a blacksmith beats a hot horse shoe!

I have had some idle time this week. Scary for my credit card. Bought two saddle (one by accident kind of), a hot water heater, a tub of platinum plus, two tubs of daily wormer, several coolers and Irish linen horse blankets, and a few clothing items from my friend Eddie Bauer. Oh and a couple of cases of protein shots. Protein shots are the nectar of the gods - not really but they have become a necessity in my life. And anyone that works out and is watching their weight should try them. Women don't get enough protein in their normal diet. Trust me on this. The doctor told me. He is an amazing man. Just go get some protein and I will stop the public service announcement.

Two saddles you say... I swear to goodness the devil made me do it. This information is top secret - at least from my beloved spouse. I mean how am I going to explain that I bought one saddle let alone two? And do you really think he is going to buy that the second one was an accident? Sometimes he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to the ways of the electronic shopping galaxy but this might be a tough sell. Would you prefer to hear about how I ended up with two or what I ended up with? Silly question. You are horsewomen. Being the logical beings that you are, you know we can't change the grievous mistake I made so, you want to hear about the saddles.. I love you all for that. First purchase is a Dale Chavez cutting saddle. Square skirt, basket stamp, padded seat. Ad says 17" seat. The photo shows 16 1/2 to the padding. I think it might be a little big but it was $825 pretty reasonable for a Chavez. I don't feel like I wouldn't be able to get my money back if it doesn't work out. The next one was the oops. I have been looking at these Don Rich saddles on eBay for months. They look great. He offers a ranch versatility/cutter/reining saddle. Did I mention they look great? So I made an offer on one. Ok so you are going to get the story of the Oops. He had an hour to accept the offer and when he didn't I went ahead and bid on the Chavez. The next morning I get an invoice for the Don Rich saddle. Shit. It seems his acceptance went into the spam filter. Crap. Now I own two. I am on pins and needles wondering if the quality of the Rich saddle will be worth the $1800 that I put on my credit card. I have 7 days to return it so if comes and it doesn't meet my expectations I can return it. I will let you know how this all turns out. Unless Mr Wonderful takes my technology and credit cards away.

Then there is the platinum plus and wormer. I have heard through the grapevine that this is what a certain very successful, very pretty rider, very handsome cow horse trainer uses. His horses are always drop dead gorgeous. They look happy and fit. This certainly handsome trainer won the snaffle bit this year on a horse that truly looked happy to do his job. He is certainly a handsome successful trainer on certainly happy gorgeous horses. Hahaha. So why not give'r a try. If I turn into a handsome successful trainer riding drop dead gorgeous horses you will all know why.

On to the hot water heater. RD put this idea in my head. She has a client that built their own portable hot water washer thingy for bathing horses. She tasks me with helping her find a tankless hot water heater. Now...let me just say that we have a tankless that runs our house. Best darn investment we ever made. Not because of the energy savings or the green technology. The reason is so much more than that. Picture this... Your in the tub and you NEVER run out of hot water. That is right ladies... An endless hot water bubble bath. For hours or days if you want. The glory of it all. If my house was on fire that is what I would want to save. Not really but I do love it. The plan is that we mount the hot water heater on a hand truck then mount a propane bottle underneath hook them together then add a garden hose and voila we have a portable instant hot water for days. Now the drawback it can only push 4.6 gals per minute. I know what that means but I have no idea how that is going to work for our application. "Application" sounds like I know what I am doing.


Durning one of my boarding stints with a trainer who shall remain nameless... I learned the secrets to getting a horse to dry quickly on a cold day. My dear friend Jennifer - the horse blanket goddess - taught me about the virtues of a good old Irish linen cooler. Jenny used hers year around but they are not vey stylish for the winter. So when winter came I bought a fleece one like my dear friend Laura had. She always goes for style baby! One day we show up to the barn and said nameless trainer is using our blankets to dry his horses - only he is layering them. He puts the Irish linen on then puts the fleece over the top. And guess what - the horses are drying FAST. Really fast and they are not to hot and not to cold. They were just right. Like porridge. Only dryer. From that point on we all used this method and cut the time we spent drinking Mikes hard lemonade while waiting for our horses to dry in half. The money we saved on Mikes covered the cost of the extra cooler. I introduced this method to RD - the two cooler method, not the Mikes, and now she is hooked. So with the devils hands I ordered some for her and some new ones for me.

All I can say about Eddie...40% off clearence prices.