Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The glass half full....

I used to have a neighbor lady that looked at the world as "The glass is half full". Her tires on her car got slashed in her driveway and her response was "I'm just glad no one got hurt". She saw the good in everyone and everything she did. She didn't gossip, she didn't use foul language, she never spoke ill of people. She was one amazing lady. She has since passed away and I have thought of her often and wished that I was wired a little more like she was.

In the last 8 weeks life has thrown me some curves and I have tried to think of the glass half full theory. So here it goes. I have had 3 surgeries in 1 year, I am just thankful that it wasn't 4 and that my health is coming back rapidly. I missed going to a few horse shows that I wanted to go to. I did get to go to some awesome shows and see my friends and I did win a buckle for the "dumber than dirt" (green as grass) class.

When the Dr. told me that I was going to have to have another surgery - 8 weeks after my colic surgery - I thought I was going to have a major melt down. I had so many plans. And surgery wasn't one of them. In the car on the way home I had an epiphany. I was thinking of all the things I was going to have to miss, what was my employer going to say, who was going to ride my horse, etc. Then I thought of something my older brother used to say. (I am not a religious person at all, don't go to church, don't pray, don't say grace unless I am at someone else's home. I do believe in a God, just not sure about all the details.) He used to say "give it over to your higher power" - I think it is something he learned going to Overeaters Anon or AA or NA. So in the car, I said o.k. here it is, I can't control it, I can't stop it, I can't ignore it, it is what it is and I will get through it - lord willing and the creek don't rise. Another saying from my older brother. It was at the moment that my body relaxed, my mind cleared and accepted what was going to take place. Later I thought to myself that the mind is a powerful thing and if just letting go of some of the nebulous bullshit we carry around can make things so clear - maybe this was the glass half full lesson I was supposed to get. I have a great family, great friends, great horses, a good job, a nice life, good doctors, good medical insurance (thank goodness)and so many other positive things in my life. Why dwell on the negative? The glass is definitely half full.