I don't know if you all know this but I got along with men much better than I get along with women. I get along with males of any species better than I get along with females. One of the reasons that I like men is they way they talk. Real men anyway. You know the ones... they talk about hunting and fishing constantly. They drive dirty trucks and open the door for you. Wipe the muck off the seats too. One thing that always cracks me up is the little sayings they have. I am always repeating the things they say and usually get a raised eyebrow or two. But what the heck - you only go around once, right?
One of my favorites...(are you ready?)
"Well that went over like a turd in a punchbowl."
Every morning Jack comes by my office and says good morning. I say "how are ya Jack" and he says "finer than frogs hair". Love it.
The guys in the shop will describe how cold the shop is one of two ways... "colder than a witches tit" or "colder than a well diggers ass". If it is really hot it is "hotter than a popcorn fart". Who dreams up this stuff?
I went to see my old trainer friend the other day. I call him my boyfriend. He isn't really my boyfriend, he is old, married, chain smokes, and is a completely harmless flirt. He was telling me about how high the price of cattle was. He says "can I tell what my friend told me?". I know it is going to be a dirty little saying when he askes if he can tell me. Of course I have to know. "The price of cattle was higher than a pussy on a Ferris wheel". Well all righty then. It made me chuckle.
We used to have a draftsman here that would constantly repeat lines from movies. He was a hoot. His favorite little sayings were "humped up like a show dog" or "humped up like a rat on Decon".
My mom used to say "by the skin on my teeth" when she barely got something done.
Another one Mr. Wonderful uses a lot lately is... Let me set up this scenario for you... Have you noticed how many young girls and even some older women are wearing low rise pants and they have a lot of extra skin and fluff pouring over the top. He says it looks like "10 lbs of sh*t in a 5 lb bag". I explained that it is called muffin top and he said it was more like the whole darn cake. Got to love real men.
I'll keep adding them as I remember them.
How about you guys... got any good sayings?
My favorite sayings came from an old cowboy friend I used to know... "Cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon".
ReplyDeleteMy personal favorite is when he was describing a girl he used to know. "She was cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.... built like the little outhouse out back."
"But Thom... outhouses are square?"
"Yeah. She were stout."
I love it when people talk like that. It's just so much fun to listen to. Loved your post - I could really hear them in my head :)
Becky,
ReplyDeleteThat is precious and one that I hear my self saying in the near future. My daughter has a springer spaniel and when he was a pup he would have been darn cute in a red wagon. I have heard a version of the outhouse... but it was more like - "She was built like a brick shithouse" - I don't know if I have ever seen a brick outhouse?? Funny stuff.
kel--I'm like you--overall I get along better with men than women. There's exceptions, of course, but i hear you. I loved the sayings. "She were stout." That whole passage--too funny. Thanks for that one, Becky.
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